"for better or for worse,...in sickness and in health"

I woke up at 5am to check my phone for the time and I saw a text from one of my very best friends, Rachel, that said she was engaged! To say that I was excited would be the understatement of the century! For those of you who know me well, you know how EXCITED I get about engagements. I'm the borderline creepy friend who tends to be more excited than I should be- I'll cry when I hear about the engagement, I'll think constantly about how to celebrate it in the biggest and best way possible, and throughout the whole engagement/wedding process I'm usually overinvested as I try to help out with everything but at the same time not be overbearing.
I'm just so happy for Rachel and it's so beautiful to see how God has brought Chris into her life. It's been so encouraging for me to see how they have grown together and I'm so excited for their journey ahead. I could seriously go on and on about how thankful I am for their relationship and how happy I am for them but right now I'm going to branch off a little...I'm thankful for their engagement because I've been wanting to write a blog on marriage for a while but I haven't gotten up the courage to do it until now. I don't want to write on this topic and have everyone think that I'm sitting here feeling sorry for myself in North Carolina since I'm single, because the thing is that I'm actually really happy and I feel so blessed for where I am at in my life right now. I am so ecstatic for my bestie Rachel, and my bro and sister-in-law in their recent marriage, and for my other good friends that have recently been engaged or married. I feel very strongly that commiting to spend your life with someone for the rest of your life is the most beautiful thing.
I have gotten a completely new view on the commitment of marriage in the last two months. When you work on a rehab floor you're doing an average of 2 hours of physical therapy with each of your patients everyday. Since you spend so much time with them you get to know them and their spouses so well. The best part of my job is this relationship building aspect. There are over 30 couples that I've seen on the rehab floor that have inspired me but I'm going to just list a couple here...
A young adult patient had a brain tumor removed 3 years ago with only a couple year prognosis and he has had multiple brain surgeries since then. Every time he undergoes another brain surgery he loses the majority of function in half his body so he has to come back to rehab for therapy for several weeks to months. Also, he has had a significant amount of brain damage which has impacted his short term memory and he frequenly makes up details and facts which makes interacting with him difficult at times. It has been the most inspiring thing to see his wife sit by his side and be his biggest cheerleader, his biggest advocate in the hospital, and his support system on both good and bad days. She knows every detail of his medical history and she loves him even though part of his skull is missing, he has sutures covering his whole head and he doesn't remember details about her or their kids somedays. This situation makes me think of the traditional wedding vows of "I, ....take you...to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part." Of course when this couple got married they had no idea that years of being in the hospital would be in store for them. This couple had no idea that they would have to leave their two elementary age kids back home several states away in order that he could go through multiple brain surgeries. They never knew that he would be wheelchair bound from his 30's on. They never knew that at the same time the kids would be working on their homework that dad would be doing his "homework" of trying to remember what activities he had done throughout the day with therapy. Despite the difficulty of this situation this couple is committed. They made those vows and I know it's not easy for them but they're sticking to them. I can't imagine being the person on either side of the relationship. Being the sick or injured person in rehab would be so hard because I've seen upclose how difficult it is to go through a brain tumor, a stroke, a traumatic brain injury, etc. But I also can't imagine being the spouse of the patient. The patience that has to exist, the sacrificial service that is exhibited, and the love that is demonstrated as that individual is literally dependent on you, not just physically but also emotionally and spiritually, is incredible.
Another example is a middle aged male who had a stroke after having a brain tumor removed and he lost all his speech but he has an incredible wife who literally can read his mind. I can't imagine ever being that close to someone that you can look at them and know exactly what they want and what they're thinking but when you see that kind of bond it's beautiful. This couple didn't know when they committed their lives together that he would lose all his speaking capabilities and lose all his strength on half his body and that he would be given a year prognosis with two little girls at home to raise. They didn't know when they got married in their young 20's what would lay ahead but they have stepped up to the challenges and they have stayed committed to eachother in love.
Seeing all these marriages upclose in the hospital sends so many thoughts rolling through my mind: First of all, the commitment of marriage is not something that should be taken lightly. When you say those vows "in sickness and in health..." the sickness part could actually happen. I know I'm just focusing on one type of tragedy that can happen in marriage but there are so many other tragedies that can happen in life as well. Of course when people are getting married no one expects these things to happen but when you look that person in the eyes and say those words you have to realize they can happen and you have to be willing to stay committed through it all.  Secondly, marriage is beautiful. I truly think that marriage is one of the greatest gifts from God. I know I'm not married and I might never be but I hope and pray that the people in my life that desire this can experience it. I also hope and pray that I can experience marriage someday if it's God's plan for me because if anything like the above situations ever happen to me I can't imagine going through it alone.
Today I'm celebrating with my bestie, Rachel, from hundreds of miles away because I know their relationship is founded on true commitment and love from God! and I'm also celebrating with everyone else that I know and love that are in those beautiful committed relationships!

Mark 10:6-9 "But at the beginning of creation God 'made them male and female.' 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

A thankful heart

Everyday at work I am encouraged and challenged by the way my patients handle the adversity in their lives. One of  my recent patient's was an evangelist and he was in inpatient rehab for a pretty serious stroke. We worked together everyday on re-learning to walk and he would frequently be singing hymns and quoting scriptures throughout the whole treatment session. It would be hard to get him to talk about anything other than God. For example, if I would ask him if he had any visitors the night before he would say "Well I was visited by the Spirit of God..." This man loved the Lord and he told everyone he met on the rehab floor.
It was such a unique experience when this patient was asked to speak for 5 minutes at the weekly worship service on the rehab floor. He had been working with the speech therapist during his whole rehab stay in order to improve his speech problems from the stroke. For weeks he worked on perfecting the message that he was going to share. When the actual worship service happened I went to listen and since then I haven't stopped thinking about the experience. I don't think I will ever be able to forget what occured that afternoon in the rehab gym.
The room was packed and you could tell everyone was excited to hear their fellow peer talk. Now I have always heard about churches where everyone is shouting "Hallelujuah" and singing out "Amen" during the sermon but I had never experienced one before. It was almost a surreal experience because there were a handfull of individuals all saying things at the same time the man was speaking. And when this gentleman started talking he didn't stop- his 5 minute message quickly turned into 15 minutes. But the crazy thing was that it didn't matter. It was so neat to see the joy that filled him when he was able to speak in front of people like he used to. It was so wonderful to see the way all the other patients looked at him with thirst in their eyes for what he was going to share. But the BEST thing was what he said. He started out by sharing the verse from Psalm 150:6 "Let everyhting that has breath praise the Lord." and then after that he quoted over 20 other passages that talked about giving thanks. I was just shocked. Here's this man who had just undergone a massive stroke and he's giving thanks to the Lord and telling all his peers who had also undergone serious injuries to do the same thing.
I stood there thinking "How can you give thanks when you're in that hard of a situation? And Why don't I give thanks like this?" I haven't been through anything comparable to what they have been through and I still don't even praise the Lord with every breath. So it just hit me. And it hit me hard. I'm going to start giving thanks like those patients did in the rehab gym that afternoon. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I'm going to start shouting out "Praise Jesus" and "Preach it Preacher" during church now or anything but I am saying that I want to give thanks for all things, during all times, and in all circumstances. I want to let every breath I breathe praise the Lord.
How beautiful would it be if we could all live like that? I felt like I got a brief glimpse of how beautiful it would be in the rehab gym that afternoon. And for that experience I am THANKFUL.

"give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thes. 5:18

God is everywhere

As I've moved around a lot recently I've realized in a new way how active and alive the Spirit of the Lord really is. God is in Iowa City doing some amazing stuff. The two years that I lived there I saw him not only change my life, but completely change the lives of people around me.

God is in Chicago and is transforming the city from the inside out. I met some really awesome Christians there and got to see their heart for spreading the Gospel in the city.

God is also in North Carolina moving in incredible ways. The different churches that I've been to have been filled with such great fellowship and are founded on the truths of God's word. The believers that I've met here have been so inspiring to me.

Both in Chicago and NC the majority of the population that live in those places have relocated from all over the country and world and these people have shared with me how God is active and moving in all of their areas of origin as well.

When you grow up in a small city in Iowa you can easily forget that God isn't just working there. He is EVERYWHERE. What's so encouraging to me as I think about where I want to get my first job is that there is Christian community and fellowship everywhere in the US and a lot of places abroad as well.

As I'm thinking about God's love moving here, there and everywhere it makes me think of the passage from Ephesians 3: "And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ,  and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."
 
We can't even begin to comprehend how big God is or how big his love is because we have never experienced anything like it before. I'm thankful for this experience of traveling all over because I get to see how God's love is everywhere and I get to experience the BIGNESS of God in a new way.

Enjoying this season

I seriously can't believe I'm halfway through my Duke internship and 3 months away from graduating- CRAZY! I haven't written much recently because I've been having SO much fun in NC- I've been spending lots of time at the beach which has been so wonderful and refreshing! I have absolutely fallen in love with this state and I know it will be a very bittersweet goodbye leaving. If you would have asked me 3 weeks ago if I thought I would ever consider living in NC I would have said "heck no!" but now I definitely would consider it. At the beginning of my Duke internship I had a really hard time knowing why I was here. I really just wanted to jump to Colorado where it was the exact type of PT I thought I wanted to do, where I knew people and had lots of friends/family around, and where I thought I wanted to look for a job. I wanted to be somewhere so I could "settle down"' and feel comfortable and stable. Thankfully God had better plans because he has introduced me to an amazing state with awesome people and opportunities. I don't know if I'll end up living in North Carolina but either way He has taught me a huge lesson through all of this.
I am such a planner. I've always been this way. In highschool I was always planning to get an athletic scholarship in college. In college I was always plannning on getting into the best PT school. In PT school I was planning on getting the best internships and job. It's so easy for me to always want to rush to the next thing, to jump to the next stage, and to embrace the next challenge instead of realizing that there is no final destination. There is no final stop or end goal. Everything is transitional. Everything is temporary. I wanted so badly to arrive at what I thought would be my "next home". I wanted to get to wherever I'm going to "end up" and I wanted to stay there and build community. I have these plans for my life in Colorado and I wanted to make them happen. I wanted to know what's next and I wanted it to unfold. But I'm learning to just keep moving and keep walking because in these transitional periods is when I am becoming who God wants me to be. I haven't arrived at my final destination and I never will. Our lives on earth are composed of different seasons so even when I do get a job somewhere and "settle down" it will just be a start of a new season which will also have an end. What I want to focus on is enjoying each and every season and letting God make me who He wants me to be in all of them.
In the book Cold Tangerines the author describes my exact feelings very well "Everything is interim. Every season that I thought was stable and would be just how it was for a long time ended up being a preparation or a path for the next thing. When you decide to be on this journey with God everything is interim. Everything is an oath or a preparation for the next thing and we never know what the next thing is. Life is like that, of course, twisty and surprising. But life with God is like that exponentially. We can dig in and make plans, write them in stone, pretend we're not listening, but the voice of God has a way of being heard. It seeps in even when we've barred the door against any last minute changes ot our plans and it moves us to differnet countries and different emotional territories and different ways of living. It keeps us moving nad dancing and watching and never let's us drop down into a life set on cruise control. Life with God is a daring dream, full of flashes and last minute exits and all things we said we'd never do. With the surprises comes GREAT HOPE."
I have no idea what my next season or interim will be- I could be working in North Carolina, Colorado, Kenya...the list could go on and on. I am making no plans right now and I am perfectly okay with that because God is teaching me so much right where I'm at.

Free Time

Free time is something that I've never experienced. In high school I was busy with school, sports and work. In college I was busy with the same things but yet quite busier because everything was more demanding. In grad school it was even crazier because the amount of time I put into school was ridiculous. I had a severe lack of free time and barely had any time for the things I love. Now as I'm done with school I feel like I have a multitude of time which I've never experienced before. I know that I work 8-5 5 days a week but honestly at night and on weekends I still feel like I'm VACATION. It is the best thing ever! To be done at the end of the day and not have a million and one things you should study is the best feeling ever. It makes me realize 1) how stressed school made me and how difficult it really was 2) how much of a blessing having free time is.
With all this time on my hands I've been starting to evaluate the question of: what is important to me? What do I want to do with this time God has given me? What am I passionate about? What makes me come alive? How can I use my gifts and talents to glory the Lord? I want to evaluate these questions so when I'm looking for a place to settle I can find a place that has all of these things. So here's my list:
PEOPLE are important to me. Having friends and community- both people that are like me and different than me.
NATURE is important to me. I like to be able to go on a trail run and bike on hilly country roads. I also love being by any bodies of water- it's where I can connect with God the best.
PHYSICAL ACTIVITY. I love being active and moving and I like to be in communities that also value that.
ADVENTURE is important to me because I love trying new things. I always want a new challenge to take on.
SERVICE is important to me. I always want an opportunity to serve in the community and help the underserved people around me.
There are so many hobbies I can see myself investing in, so many service activites I'd love to do, and so many geographical locations I can see myself living in. But I still have no idea where God will lead me. The great thing is that I know He will lead me somewhere where I can use all of my free time and all of my passions and gifts to glorify Him in ways that I can't even begin to dream or imagine.

Eph 3: ^{20 "}Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, ²¹ to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."